2020 - a reflection.

I keep telling Shai, I cannot believe we have been here a year. A year! When we first landed, I was a mad mix of excited, scared, and even regret. I remember clearly the huge wave of homesickness that came over me the first day here. I was crying in the kitchen, wondering what the hell I was doing with my life. Messaged my bestie and she told me, just videocall whenever I need to. It would make me feel better. And true enough, it did make me feel better. I video-called my parents every day that first month. And I pretty much still bug them every other day now. But it's not really homesickness that make me do it now. Just love.

I have learned that being far away from home, it is absolutely necessary to have a few I can count on to keep me grounded. To these women - Mus, Zee and Mich - I am grateful for your friendship. Mus, for being the most loyal friend ( of 27 years!), and always so encouraging of my endeavours no matter how crazy. Zee, for being my soul sister and being there in my place with my family when I cannot be there. Mich, for all the heart-to-hearts and for being tough on me when I need that tough love.

In our short time here, we have had a few opportunities to meet new people, mostly fellow migrants. I must say, it's not easy making new friends at our age. We're so set in our ways! And attempting to sustain these new friendships takes a whole lot of effort. Going on dates is exciting, but also quite tiring. It makes me feel so young, yet oh so old. I always feel I need a nap afterwards to recuperate. People say and ask the darnest things. Some try to size us up. Others question and judge our choices. We just try to be friendly. Most days we prefer hanging out with our cats.

I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in my garden this past year. I started small. And then I got ambitious and attempted to grow more than 20 types of vegetables in my 4x5m courtyard. We got me 3 greenhouses, 4 big planters and bags and bags of soil. I learned about watering/fertilising routines, potting mixes, which plants to grow in which season, how to know if I have underwatered/overwatered, and how to stay calm when I find my plants shrivelled up and dead even after all that effort. Gardening has taught me to have faith and patience, to persevere, and to let go when I need to.

Cooking has been an unexpected personal triumph for me. I knew I had to cook but I didn't know I had to cook this much and I definitely didn't know I could cook this well (by my unbiased, good standards)! I'm not talking nasi goreng. I'm talking rendang and sambal godok. Ayam merah and steamed pomfret. Chicken rice and biryani! I think it's what I'm most proud of. I barely touched the stove back in Singapore. But my favourite is when I cook dishes Mama used to cook for me. I get all sentimental. Also, Mama thinks I'm doing so well in the kitchen because I got it from her. I'm happy I get to make Mama proud.

SHAI GOT A JOB! Background: Shai was working from home for many years before we moved here. His only colleague was my dad, his boss. His interactions with clients/agents were mainly via phone and email. He went for his first interview in close to 15 years on 15 October. Can you imagine how thrilled we were when we found out he had gotten the job? I still have that picture of him getting ready for his orientation. :) So he's been working at Crown Perth for a couple of months now. He is on his feet 7-8 hours each shift, sometimes for 6 straight days. He comes back and eagerly shares stories about guests at the hotel. I met a few of his colleagues at a pizza place last week. I cannot be prouder of this brave, hardworking, determined man.

Shai's dad passed away in December. We couldn't go home because Shai had just started work, and there's a mandatory 14-day quarantine when we return to Perth. We were also afraid WA might announce changes to the travel policy while we're there and we might end up stuck in Singapore. It was surreal, having to watch the whole funeral procession via a videocall. I had never seen my husband so distraught before. He tells me he isn't done mourning this loss and will probably not be done until we can fly home and he can visit his dad's grave. Right now, I have no idea when that will be.

It's been a mad roller-coaster ride. Shai and I emerge from 2020 scathed in some ways, but nevertheless undeterred. We have learnt what it's like to really be on our own. We have a new understanding of the word independence. We have felt utmost thrill and joy, and total loss and devastation. We don't know what 2021 is going to bring us. But we intend to face it with kindness, bravery, and lots and lots of faith and hope.

This was taken when we were at Lake Clifton. We did our first ever stargazing. It was simply magnificent.